Tuesday, April 10, 2012
title SOLEHAH
how could i ever forget this phrase, "Awak kena sabar..kite kena kejar title solehah sama-sama.." T_T
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The Time I Missed The Most
Today is 4th of April 2012. Its been more than 3 months now
Opah had gone to answer the God’s calling. As a normal human being, we will
definitely face death. No one is immortal on this earth. Even the strongest man
who used to live during the time of Prophet Moses, Phraoh also faced his death.
By the name of normal human being, we all shall be returned
to the Creator. As I still remembered, there were times when I accompanied Opah
at the Taiping hospital, it all brought the memories that I somehow regretted.
Though I didn’t complained about the condition of Opah at that time, I should
have utilized the time given. I should have pampered Opah the same as Opah did
on me during I was baby.
So much memories that I kept reminiscing during the time when
I was brought up at kampung. I used to be
very naughty, very active that made Opah exhausted.
I just can’t help to feel extremely upset during the first
time I saw Opah in the hospital. She collapsed between morning and noon time
when she was sweeping the lawn. I could feel that the whether condition was so hot that time. She also neglected some period of medicine taking. She loved to
eat salted fish. And to make things worst, she didn’t even care much about her
health though she knew she has high-blood pressure.
Opah was asleep, picture taken during the
time she admitted at Taiping Hospital
I can’t help but to feel heart-broken when I saw
this picture (taken on 4/11/2011). The doctor confirmed later on that Opah is
half-body paralyzed. After sometimes when she was released, Opah stayed at Mak
Lang’s house. Every weekend me and mak went to Mak Lang’s house to see Opah. We
drove aIl the way from Penang to Taiping and sometime, we headed there after
working hours. I do feel the love for Opah is greater during the time she was
sick.
Once Opah asked me to lift her body because she was
tired of laying down. Opah’s figure was much much smaller compared to mine. But
because of her body condition, she was not able to control her posture and have
to depend her weight on us. When I lifted her body, I could feel all the body
weight was shifted on me. Initially I put my hand behind Opah’s body to keep
her sitting still. But after few minutes, my hand was getting numb. So I
shifted my hand with my body just for Opah to feel more comfortable leaning on
me.
And we chatted while she sat down leaning on my body. After
that, I got an idea of snapping her pictures. Opah don’t usually like to take
pictures. She used to complain a lot and claimed that she don’t look good enough
to be captured as an image. But pfbrttt..do I care?? I don’t... So, as a result,
these two pictures were taken, and she was cooperating..how wonderful.. (I was not wearing head scarf, so I can't advertise the pictures here)
I said to Opah,
“Opah, tengok kamera..” (“Opah, look at the camera..”) and she stared at the
camera.. I snapped the picture and quickly look at the result. Then,
“Alaa..kenapa Opah tak senyum??” (“Why didn’t you smile??”)
I was not satisfied and re-snap another picture. This time I asked Opah to
smile.
“Ok Opah..senyum sikit..” (Ok Opah, now smile..”) And the
result was so much pleasing..she smiled though I knew it was hard for her to do
it as half of her face muscles were already numb.
There were time, when Opah still on her hospital bed, I said
to her..
“Opah kena kuat semangat tau..kena cepat-cepat baik..Opah
belum tengok menantu cucu lagi kan?” (Opah have to be strong..you must get
better..you still don’t get to see your grandchild’s husband yet,
remember?”)
She looked at me in puzzled, wondering whose that grandchild
I’m talking about. Then she asked,
“Siapa??” (“Who??”) I gave her my big grin and replied,
“Suami orang laa..sape lagi? Hehehe..” (“My future husband
of course..who else? Hehehe..”) And she gave me a smirk. Hahaha!
It was a
sweet yet bitter memory for me to play that scene in my head. I promised Opah I
would bring a very nice guy to meet her someday. No matter how great our
planning would be, it will never can super-cede Allah’s planning. As until to
date, I failed to show Opah that guy.
Can I have this person to be my hubby?? Hehehe..
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Adakah kita terlalu Judgmental?
Kadang-kadang tanpa kita sedar, kita selalu menghakimi orang lain, we're being too judgemental.. Apa salahnya kalau kita lihat orang lain yang pakai hijab tapi drive kereta BMW Sport?? Salah ke kalau dia memang punya kemampuan, nak menghargai diri sendiri dengan cara tu? Asal saja pada masa yang sama, dia tak lupa bayar zakat, tak lupa sedekah jariah dan sentiasa manjaga kebajikan orang lain..
Serasa saya, ramai yang konflik dengan konsep merendah diri yang agama kita anjurkan..mungkin kita fikir dengan pakai kereta mewah, punya rumah besar, pakai pakaian berjenama, secara tak langsung kita mempromosikan rasa bangga dengan kekayaan yang ada..
Adakah kita layak nak menghakimi apa yang orang lain rasa? Apa yang terdetik dalam hati dia? Yakin ke kita yang dia memang punya rasa riak dan memang bertujuan nak menunjuk-nunjuk kekayaan yang dia miliki? Mungkin setelah berpenah lelah selama ni, baru sekarang dia berpeluang hidup mewah..rezeki tu kan Allah yang kasi..
Sekiranya memang dia berkemampuan, dalam erti kata lain kaya Ya Allah Ya Allah..menjadi kesalahan untuk dia menghargai diri sendiri? Kan tangan yang memberi adalah lebih baik daripada tangan yang meminta? Mana datangnya tangan yang memberi sekiranya memiliki kekayaan itu adalah satu "crime"??
Saya banyak belajar tentang being judgemental ni..saya boleh bercakap disini sebab saya sendiri pernah jadi seorang yang prejudis dan judgemental. Astaghfirullah.. saya sedar saya dah berbuat salah.. Lebih rasa berdosa sekiranya isu yang pernah saya timbulkan pada kawan-kawan membuatkan orang yang dikata mati niat dan hatinya nak istiqomah berbuat baik.. sedar tak sedar saya dah tempah dosa untuk diri sendiri dan mungkin ada share dalam dosa orang lain, Naudzubillah..
Melihat sesuatu yang kita tak setuju lantas menasihati diri sendiri adalah lebih baik daripada melemparkan komen yang mungkin boleh mematikan hasrat baik orang lain..
Serasa saya, ramai yang konflik dengan konsep merendah diri yang agama kita anjurkan..mungkin kita fikir dengan pakai kereta mewah, punya rumah besar, pakai pakaian berjenama, secara tak langsung kita mempromosikan rasa bangga dengan kekayaan yang ada..
Adakah kita layak nak menghakimi apa yang orang lain rasa? Apa yang terdetik dalam hati dia? Yakin ke kita yang dia memang punya rasa riak dan memang bertujuan nak menunjuk-nunjuk kekayaan yang dia miliki? Mungkin setelah berpenah lelah selama ni, baru sekarang dia berpeluang hidup mewah..rezeki tu kan Allah yang kasi..
Sekiranya memang dia berkemampuan, dalam erti kata lain kaya Ya Allah Ya Allah..menjadi kesalahan untuk dia menghargai diri sendiri? Kan tangan yang memberi adalah lebih baik daripada tangan yang meminta? Mana datangnya tangan yang memberi sekiranya memiliki kekayaan itu adalah satu "crime"??
Saya banyak belajar tentang being judgemental ni..saya boleh bercakap disini sebab saya sendiri pernah jadi seorang yang prejudis dan judgemental. Astaghfirullah.. saya sedar saya dah berbuat salah.. Lebih rasa berdosa sekiranya isu yang pernah saya timbulkan pada kawan-kawan membuatkan orang yang dikata mati niat dan hatinya nak istiqomah berbuat baik.. sedar tak sedar saya dah tempah dosa untuk diri sendiri dan mungkin ada share dalam dosa orang lain, Naudzubillah..
Melihat sesuatu yang kita tak setuju lantas menasihati diri sendiri adalah lebih baik daripada melemparkan komen yang mungkin boleh mematikan hasrat baik orang lain..
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
the quest in searching Hidayah Allah
starts today, this moment, this hour, this minute.. 19.18, 27.12.2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Allah kan Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang..
In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Marriage is one of the most important decisions in one’s life. How are you supposed to know whether someone is “The One,” or if you are just blinded by her beauty, akhlaq (manners), status in society, or you are just plain ole tired of waiting so long that you are infatuated with the idea of a “special someone,” no matter who that someone might be? That is a tough question. A potential spouse cannot be compared to a suit, or the new iPhone that is out in the market. You cannot “choose” a partner, then “return” her if you see that you two do not get along very well. Although divorce is a permissible yet disliked (by Allah) option, let’s hope that we do not marry with the thought that if anything goes wrong, we can always get a divorce. A few characteristics should be looked for in potential mates.
Deen Comes First
In Islam, we are all equal to each other except for those who have a higher level of taqwa (faith in Allah). As such, a man should not discriminate against a potential spouse because she is from a different country, has fewer (or a greater number of) degrees than him, or if she is not as wealthy or as beautiful as he wishes her to be. There is a hadith which states, “A woman is married for her deen, her wealth or her beauty. You must go for the one with deen, may your hands be in the dust! (if you fail to heed)” [Muslim]. This hadith applies to both men and women. We should not be preoccupied with how a person looks or how much money s/he makes per month. Beauty is important as you must be able to feel some sort of attraction to your partner. Wealth is as equally as important since you must be able to spend on your family and zakat. Nevertheless, deen comes first and should be the most important factor when choosing a partner. Beauty fades, money comes and goes (and eventually runs out), while a good person’s character gets richer by the day. It is important that we do not fool ourselves by judging a book by its cover. Just because a sister wears hijab and a brother dons a beard (perhaps because he looks quite handsome with it as opposed to having no facial hair) does not mean that they are doing it out of religiousness. It is your duty to ask around, or ask your elders to find out about this person’s habits and qualities.
Does Ethnicity Matter?
There may be a sister who abides by the deen, exhibits good behavior, has a good education, and is beautiful too…except she does not come from the same cultural background as you. Now what? I believe you should go about the matter as you would with a potential spouse who is of the same ethnicity.
Allah (S.W.T.) says:
“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)” (49:13).
Therefore, it is clear that cultural differences should not stop us from marrying a partner of our choice. Allah does not care if I marry someone of the same race, or a different one, so long as we strive to keep each other on the right path. Allah will judge us for what is in our hearts, not our outward appearance. Nevertheless, we must be realistic about interracial marriage and its consequences.
Cultural Differences
Cultural differences are perhaps the number one reason why some people are afraid of marrying outside of their culture. What language will we speak? Maybe English, but what about our grandfathers who do not understand a word of it? What type of food will we eat? Which customs will we incorporate into our wedding—his or mine? What language will our children speak? Which culture will our children marry into—his or mine? Yikes. The list goes on and on, though the last question shouldn’t matter to such an open minded couple. The point is that interracial marriages can be very complicated. They can also be as simple as you make them. The husband and wife can teach one another his/her respective language. Though it is not a quick solution, it is possible. For the time being, if English is a common language, they can speak that. Language is nothing but a means to communication. Children can be taught both languages as children’s minds are like sponges that are ready to absorb knowledge. As a child, I was spoken to in Dari and Pashto as my mother is from Kabul, while my father is from Qandahar, Afghanistan. It was not difficult for me to learn Pashto, Dari, English, as well as understand Hindi just from watching Desi serials on television. Anything is possible as long as the couple and their families are willing to cooperate with one another.
Expect Many Stares
It seems that people are either fascinated by, scared of, or just curious about interracial marriages. Expect people to stare at you as though you have five heads and just landed from the UFO that came from Mars. You will have to learn to adapt to it. Sometimes some people may think to themselves, or even come up to you and ask, “Couldn’t she find a person within her culture? Is that why she degraded herself by marrying a ________?” People are inconsiderate but that does not mean you shoulddisregard a potential spouse.
Convincing Your Parents
Some of us are blessed with parents who have knowledge of the deen. The rest of us, however, are not so fortunate. Some parents are stuck with the old ideology that one should marry within the race as opposed to ruining their “pure” (insert appropriate ethnicity) bloodline. This sounds more like Hitler’s logic in that he did not want the “superior” ethnicity to be lowered through marriage to someone of an “inferior” culture. We should point out Qur’anic verses and Hadith regarding the believers’ equality before Allah and how one’s level of deen will matter on the Day of Judgment. Our skin color will not matter, neither will our superstitious manmade customs, ideologies, and “status” in society. Many parents, though aware of the deen, will not allow their children to marry outside of their race for fear of what “society will think.” Some questions I would pose to those parents are:
1. Do you live your life for yourself, or to please others? Is your whole life a façade, such as a staged play in which your family members’ every action is controlled?
2. Have you forgotten the purpose of your life? Allah (S.W.T.) says, “I have only created jinns and humans to worship Me” (51:56). That is the purpose of our lives, but marriage is a blessing. It is half our deen as our partners help us stay on Siraatul Mustaqeem (the Right path). Please stop obsessing over how your child’s spouse should be an engineer, doctor, or lawyer.
3. Ultimately, does your child’s happiness matter to you, or your selfish desires of having him/her marry within the race merely to please society?
Please, do not turn down a potential spouse because of something like ethnicity, or the person’s profession. Granted, s/he should be able to earn a decent living, but deen is of utmost importance, and it is possible that you may not find a person who is religious and meets your other standards while also being of the same background. If your parents do not heed your proof from the Qur’an and Sunnah, then ask an Imam to help. Regardless, remember to be kind to your parents even if they do not agree at first.
________________________________________
Source : http://www.teenperspectives.com/interracial-marriage-is-it-worth-it/
Marriage is one of the most important decisions in one’s life. How are you supposed to know whether someone is “The One,” or if you are just blinded by her beauty, akhlaq (manners), status in society, or you are just plain ole tired of waiting so long that you are infatuated with the idea of a “special someone,” no matter who that someone might be? That is a tough question. A potential spouse cannot be compared to a suit, or the new iPhone that is out in the market. You cannot “choose” a partner, then “return” her if you see that you two do not get along very well. Although divorce is a permissible yet disliked (by Allah) option, let’s hope that we do not marry with the thought that if anything goes wrong, we can always get a divorce. A few characteristics should be looked for in potential mates.
Deen Comes First
In Islam, we are all equal to each other except for those who have a higher level of taqwa (faith in Allah). As such, a man should not discriminate against a potential spouse because she is from a different country, has fewer (or a greater number of) degrees than him, or if she is not as wealthy or as beautiful as he wishes her to be. There is a hadith which states, “A woman is married for her deen, her wealth or her beauty. You must go for the one with deen, may your hands be in the dust! (if you fail to heed)” [Muslim]. This hadith applies to both men and women. We should not be preoccupied with how a person looks or how much money s/he makes per month. Beauty is important as you must be able to feel some sort of attraction to your partner. Wealth is as equally as important since you must be able to spend on your family and zakat. Nevertheless, deen comes first and should be the most important factor when choosing a partner. Beauty fades, money comes and goes (and eventually runs out), while a good person’s character gets richer by the day. It is important that we do not fool ourselves by judging a book by its cover. Just because a sister wears hijab and a brother dons a beard (perhaps because he looks quite handsome with it as opposed to having no facial hair) does not mean that they are doing it out of religiousness. It is your duty to ask around, or ask your elders to find out about this person’s habits and qualities.
Does Ethnicity Matter?
There may be a sister who abides by the deen, exhibits good behavior, has a good education, and is beautiful too…except she does not come from the same cultural background as you. Now what? I believe you should go about the matter as you would with a potential spouse who is of the same ethnicity.
Allah (S.W.T.) says:
“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)” (49:13).
Therefore, it is clear that cultural differences should not stop us from marrying a partner of our choice. Allah does not care if I marry someone of the same race, or a different one, so long as we strive to keep each other on the right path. Allah will judge us for what is in our hearts, not our outward appearance. Nevertheless, we must be realistic about interracial marriage and its consequences.
Cultural Differences
Cultural differences are perhaps the number one reason why some people are afraid of marrying outside of their culture. What language will we speak? Maybe English, but what about our grandfathers who do not understand a word of it? What type of food will we eat? Which customs will we incorporate into our wedding—his or mine? What language will our children speak? Which culture will our children marry into—his or mine? Yikes. The list goes on and on, though the last question shouldn’t matter to such an open minded couple. The point is that interracial marriages can be very complicated. They can also be as simple as you make them. The husband and wife can teach one another his/her respective language. Though it is not a quick solution, it is possible. For the time being, if English is a common language, they can speak that. Language is nothing but a means to communication. Children can be taught both languages as children’s minds are like sponges that are ready to absorb knowledge. As a child, I was spoken to in Dari and Pashto as my mother is from Kabul, while my father is from Qandahar, Afghanistan. It was not difficult for me to learn Pashto, Dari, English, as well as understand Hindi just from watching Desi serials on television. Anything is possible as long as the couple and their families are willing to cooperate with one another.
Expect Many Stares
It seems that people are either fascinated by, scared of, or just curious about interracial marriages. Expect people to stare at you as though you have five heads and just landed from the UFO that came from Mars. You will have to learn to adapt to it. Sometimes some people may think to themselves, or even come up to you and ask, “Couldn’t she find a person within her culture? Is that why she degraded herself by marrying a ________?” People are inconsiderate but that does not mean you shoulddisregard a potential spouse.
Convincing Your Parents
Some of us are blessed with parents who have knowledge of the deen. The rest of us, however, are not so fortunate. Some parents are stuck with the old ideology that one should marry within the race as opposed to ruining their “pure” (insert appropriate ethnicity) bloodline. This sounds more like Hitler’s logic in that he did not want the “superior” ethnicity to be lowered through marriage to someone of an “inferior” culture. We should point out Qur’anic verses and Hadith regarding the believers’ equality before Allah and how one’s level of deen will matter on the Day of Judgment. Our skin color will not matter, neither will our superstitious manmade customs, ideologies, and “status” in society. Many parents, though aware of the deen, will not allow their children to marry outside of their race for fear of what “society will think.” Some questions I would pose to those parents are:
1. Do you live your life for yourself, or to please others? Is your whole life a façade, such as a staged play in which your family members’ every action is controlled?
2. Have you forgotten the purpose of your life? Allah (S.W.T.) says, “I have only created jinns and humans to worship Me” (51:56). That is the purpose of our lives, but marriage is a blessing. It is half our deen as our partners help us stay on Siraatul Mustaqeem (the Right path). Please stop obsessing over how your child’s spouse should be an engineer, doctor, or lawyer.
3. Ultimately, does your child’s happiness matter to you, or your selfish desires of having him/her marry within the race merely to please society?
Please, do not turn down a potential spouse because of something like ethnicity, or the person’s profession. Granted, s/he should be able to earn a decent living, but deen is of utmost importance, and it is possible that you may not find a person who is religious and meets your other standards while also being of the same background. If your parents do not heed your proof from the Qur’an and Sunnah, then ask an Imam to help. Regardless, remember to be kind to your parents even if they do not agree at first.
________________________________________
Source : http://www.teenperspectives.com/interracial-marriage-is-it-worth-it/
Friday, December 9, 2011
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